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the purpose of sme is simply this: to overthrow the capitalist hegemony that has a stranglehold on our beautiful, multiethnic society. contributors are asked to take part in this, our overriding mission, so the people of the green earth can breathe together in the clean air of progressive politics and non-judgmentalism. each blog post must bask in the sunlight of earnest expression, never falling into the trap of satire or parody. our aim is clarity and verisimilitude; our mission is truth and the propagation of it. the blog is the perfect place to post your old family videos, homophobic video blogs, another blog's material, awkward, poorly-drawn sketches, halo reach updates, or unexplained/irrelevant wikipedia articles--sme is home to the entire eclectic conflation that is the internet. if there is one thing entirely intolerable to the editors of sme, it is sarcasm. there is simply no room in this blog for sarcastic, humorous, and reference driven posts. if you are among those responsible for such garbage, please leave.


barnaby jones

Thursday, December 24, 2009

warming your heart and your head for the holidays

As Christmas Approaches (tomorrow), I’m sure you’re all wondering what I’ve been wondering: how to make your cat into an elegant dinner hat for holidays.

There’s nothing that gets you in the spirit of the holidays like a cap made from the skin of your own pet. I know, I know, you want one—doesn’t everyone? This extremely desirable (and fashionable) accessory is on everyone’s wish list this time of year. So, how can you be the owner of your very own personal cat hat? I’ll tell you! You’ll need the following items:

A stick

Some string.

A fuzzy ball

A bola


And creativity!

Attach the stick to the string and the fuzzy ball, creating a fishing pole out of the combination. Dangle the makeshift lure over your cat’s water bowl and wait for it to strike. As kitty paws the air with his tufty, warm little paws,

relish in the knowledge that his severed head will soon augment your most beloved hat.

Yeah, relish the kill.

As kitty’s fuzzy little head is distracted, eagerly thinking of ways adorably trap the lure; throw the bola rope at his back paws, rendering him immobile. After capture, simply cut along the dotted line

and tastefully glue the head to your favorite ball cap:

With such a beautiful hat, you’ll be the talk of the town in no time flat!

Merry happy from subtitlesformoviesinenglish!


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