the blog manifesto.

the purpose of sme is simply this: to overthrow the capitalist hegemony that has a stranglehold on our beautiful, multiethnic society. contributors are asked to take part in this, our overriding mission, so the people of the green earth can breathe together in the clean air of progressive politics and non-judgmentalism. each blog post must bask in the sunlight of earnest expression, never falling into the trap of satire or parody. our aim is clarity and verisimilitude; our mission is truth and the propagation of it. the blog is the perfect place to post your old family videos, homophobic video blogs, another blog's material, awkward, poorly-drawn sketches, halo reach updates, or unexplained/irrelevant wikipedia articles--sme is home to the entire eclectic conflation that is the internet. if there is one thing entirely intolerable to the editors of sme, it is sarcasm. there is simply no room in this blog for sarcastic, humorous, and reference driven posts. if you are among those responsible for such garbage, please leave.


barnaby jones

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

How to get women of the opposite sex in five easy to do steps that you can do because they are easy to do! 1) First thing you have to is be really good looking. Women love guys that are good looking. If you are a hot and sexy man than you got it made! You might be thinking “hey Chris, I am super ugly-- my mom wanted to abort me because of this” I say to you life isnt fair. Do You think its fair how good looking I am? No. But I am. 2) Be full of knowledge. Women love guys that are full of all sorts of knowledge about things. You have to have two types of knowledge 1. Classical guy knowledge This is knowledge about cars, fixing things around the house, and sports. Tho you talk mostly about this stuff with your guy friends women love guys that don't care about what they care about. 2. Knowledge about the finer things in life Women are sups attracted to guys that know about 1800th century french literature and Italian Renaissance paintings. Read some books and pretend like you know this, lie to them if need be. Yes. Lying works really well with women. 3. Be super jacked. I mean look at me? I am super jacked and do you know how many women I get? Millions. So, don't be a flubby dubby unless you are super rich-which brings me to my next point. 4. BE super rich! Do you know how much poontang wealthy people get? A lot. Women are really really simple creatures. Women are attracted to money like flies are to shinny things.. Its science 5. Be Brad Pritt. Its pretty basic. If you are Brad Pit, you get all the women...

Friday, June 5, 2015

gotta get up outta tha hood

by marquis jackson

man, bruthas be tryna diss me when i’m just tryna get by. can’t get my head straight when i’m out in the streets chasin dat paypah. tha struggle is deep and mah gurl always be hasslin my ass.


livin is hard yo. gotta watch out fo tha man always tryna reappropriate my shit. the damn govahment yo. hasslin my ass...

all I need is to get real. find somethin to take mah mind off tha hussle.

gotta get up outta tha hood, bruh. get away from all these got damn aliens, nawmean?

deez aliens be jockin my shit all damn day and i’m like DAMN man back up off me FUHREAL.

aliens all up in dis bitch.  flyin in wit dey got damn flyin saussahs n shit, hasslin aybody jus tryna go about they bizness.

can’t take nunna dat shit.

like the otha day. when tha crew was loungin and we was mad lifted, damn aliens bust all up in tha crib, lazah beams all in a brutha’s eyes n shit. straight killed tha vibes yo.

next time I see those alien crab bitches imma board they ship, halo 2 style. rip they advanced extraterrestrial eyes straight out they puffy faces. get medieval on they asses.

imma drop SCIENCE on dem hoes. aliens roll up thinkin they the illest, thinkin homeboy don't tote strap all GOT DAMN day. couldn't be more wrong yo.

perhaps they supah intelligent mastah plan will be reconsidahd once I sneak up behind they asses like a got damn ninja, smack they supreme leadah up on a chain link fence and straight RAIL on dat bitch. we be clockin they asses left and right till they mothaship ain't got no option but to send backup to the hood. warfare game STRONG yo.

meanwhile my girl at home be like, MARQUIS I need some money fo the damn rent and I'm like DAMN BITCH can't you see im tryna fend off this weak ass, triflin ass alien invasion? shit.

i'm tellin you man, always tryna hassle my ass.