the blog manifesto.

the purpose of sme is simply this: to overthrow the capitalist hegemony that has a stranglehold on our beautiful, multiethnic society. contributors are asked to take part in this, our overriding mission, so the people of the green earth can breathe together in the clean air of progressive politics and non-judgmentalism. each blog post must bask in the sunlight of earnest expression, never falling into the trap of satire or parody. our aim is clarity and verisimilitude; our mission is truth and the propagation of it. the blog is the perfect place to post your old family videos, homophobic video blogs, another blog's material, awkward, poorly-drawn sketches, halo reach updates, or unexplained/irrelevant wikipedia articles--sme is home to the entire eclectic conflation that is the internet. if there is one thing entirely intolerable to the editors of sme, it is sarcasm. there is simply no room in this blog for sarcastic, humorous, and reference driven posts. if you are among those responsible for such garbage, please leave.

sincerely,

barnaby jones

Saturday, December 26, 2009

CJ Is Gay? The Power Of Texting Conversations

Dec 14, 2009 around midnight while studying 10 hours straight for finals...



Luke: S***. CJ is gay dude

Nate: Are you insulting him or are you serious?

Luke: Serious. He just hit on me

Nate: ...how did he hit on you?

Luke: He asked if he could give me a bl**ie. I was like WTF

Nate: Uuuhhhh huhhhhh. Well, Can't say I'm surprised.

Luke: Yeah dude. F***ing weird s***. I had to leave without saying anything. F*** dude

Nate: Okay, so, just give me the run down here. What was the situation and how did it get to bl** j**s?

Luke: We were studying in his room. And he was like, dude, I need to tell you something. I was like what's up man. He said, I've been really into you lately, dude, and I was just wondering... I was like, huh, what? And he said if I could s*** you off. I was like what? Really?! He said yeah, in serious. I just got up and left

Nate: The f***, man!? Like, I'm cool with him being gay, but good lord, thats a little forward.

Luke: I know. Seriously bro. Well see what happens...

Nate: Yeah...that's...uh..wow... he knows you have a girlfriend, right?

Luke: Yeah man! Exactly!

Nate: That's f***ed up.

Luke: Be careful man

Nate: Thanks for the heads up.

Luke: Yeah man.

Nate: F***in crazy

Luke: Really f***ing crazy





CJ 1:03 am: Hey dude luke and jessica left, wanna come study?

Nate 1:57 am: Sorry, just saw your text. I'm done this evening, but thanks.

CJ 2:00 am: Are u sure man? I have be*r bro

Nate 2:02 am: Haha, not really a b*er drinker, but I appreciate the offer.

CJ 2:03 am: Ok man no worries yo, could i offer u somethin else?

Nate 2:05 am: That all depends on what you're offering.

CJ 2:05 am: I could think of a thing or two ;)

Nate 2:11 am: I may as well be honest, dude. Luke told me what happened and he was pretty wigged out. I'm flattered but I'm not like that.

CJ 2:13 am: Ok dude no worries yo, iv just heard that uv made out w guys before, and i think ur an attractive dude. iv just been shot down so much recently ya know?

Nate 2:19 am: Hey man, we all have relationship problems. But those experiences were due to alcohol. Plus, I'm faithful to Christina. I'll happily talk to you about it, but I'm not like that.

CJ 2:20 am: Thanx man, i appreciate it dude. btw, u don't have to spread this around. i just trust you

Nate 2:22 am: No worries.





Nate 2:13 am: So, CJ just tried to get me to come down to his room. I told him that you told me what happened and that I'm not like that.

Luke: Wow dude. Really?



Luke 12:04 pm: Did Cj ever say anything else to you?

Nate 1:04 pm: He just said: "oh sorry, heard you made out with dudes. My bad." But in other news... (homework related topic)




Luke, several friends and I had Nate convinced that I had feelings for him for over a week. He was so awkward around me... perfect.

3 comments:

  1. Wait, so am I supposed to believe that CJ's NOT gay?!

    ReplyDelete
  2. holy shit haha, that's messed up!

    ReplyDelete