the blog manifesto.

the purpose of sme is simply this: to overthrow the capitalist hegemony that has a stranglehold on our beautiful, multiethnic society. contributors are asked to take part in this, our overriding mission, so the people of the green earth can breathe together in the clean air of progressive politics and non-judgmentalism. each blog post must bask in the sunlight of earnest expression, never falling into the trap of satire or parody. our aim is clarity and verisimilitude; our mission is truth and the propagation of it. the blog is the perfect place to post your old family videos, homophobic video blogs, another blog's material, awkward, poorly-drawn sketches, halo reach updates, or unexplained/irrelevant wikipedia articles--sme is home to the entire eclectic conflation that is the internet. if there is one thing entirely intolerable to the editors of sme, it is sarcasm. there is simply no room in this blog for sarcastic, humorous, and reference driven posts. if you are among those responsible for such garbage, please leave.


barnaby jones

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Julie Effect: A Case of Madness

I have made a startling discovery concerning the well being of the average, 18-45 year old male: the drastic effect the Julie Henning has on said population group's mind.

Example 1

Photo of the Julie Henning:

Comments on said photo:

Clearly, madness results when 1 part the Julie Henning is introduced to any part of the male population. Notice that several males consent to a state of “loving” a regular photo of the Julie Henning. Regard now the male response to another, similar photo which does not contain the Julie Henning:

Example 2

Photo of not the Julie Henning:

Comments on said photo:

Although the female response was largely positive, note the male comment at the bottom of the photo. Clearly this dear woman has suffered such abuse due to the fact that she is not Julie Henning.

Now, let us consider the inner workings of the average male mind when he encounters the Julie Henning at a random event. I want to be totally random, so, let’s say, this guy:

This random dude sees the Julie from across the room; she makes eye contact with him and instantly he is transported across the room to being face to face—yes, she has that power. Julie says “hi”:

Now the average male’s response to Julie:

No matter what the Julie Henning says, the males within hearing distance will gravitate to the source of that wondrous sound as it gleefully bounces in their ears, and the words they hear, regardless of content, will seem to them “brilliant,” “awesome,” “hilarious,” and “awesome.” It can only be speculated that The Julie Henning emits a type of radiation that melts the intelligence of all surrounding males to an ethereal jelly, rendering them defenseless, loud, and incapable of abstract thought:

scientific diagram.

This, my dear gentleman, is The Julie Henning and her effect. It is curiously similar to the Hannah Vaughn effect:

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