the blog manifesto.

the purpose of sme is simply this: to overthrow the capitalist hegemony that has a stranglehold on our beautiful, multiethnic society. contributors are asked to take part in this, our overriding mission, so the people of the green earth can breathe together in the clean air of progressive politics and non-judgmentalism. each blog post must bask in the sunlight of earnest expression, never falling into the trap of satire or parody. our aim is clarity and verisimilitude; our mission is truth and the propagation of it. the blog is the perfect place to post your old family videos, homophobic video blogs, another blog's material, awkward, poorly-drawn sketches, halo reach updates, or unexplained/irrelevant wikipedia articles--sme is home to the entire eclectic conflation that is the internet. if there is one thing entirely intolerable to the editors of sme, it is sarcasm. there is simply no room in this blog for sarcastic, humorous, and reference driven posts. if you are among those responsible for such garbage, please leave.


barnaby jones

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Work-out plane 4 Emery

I care a shit ton about fitness. So, needless to say, people ask me ALL the SHIT time to fucken give them shit to do to get them assed ripped. Here is 1 such plan I given to my FRIEND: "Getting jacked is simple as shit. Over the years of becoming super ripped balls guy and having bulging biceps (by which I have sex with many ladies with my bulging penis), I have formulated 3 simple rules to become a hugatroner-sexual-mechine/lady-vigina-plower. Rule 1 DONT BE A PUSSY OR A FUCKING DUMB ASS! This is kinda of a joke but also serious. IF you want to get jacked you have to workout when you don't want to, but you also have to know when you need to rest (thus the dumbass part). So you have to be willing to push your body to the limit—and it hurts...a lot. But I usually walk away from each one of my sets with a huge raging boner, as should you. Your the parts of your brain that sense pain are right next to the parts the sense pleasure (so its science) pain can be pleasurable. But if your muscle hurt like fuck ass and your feel like actual shit—not just being a bitch ass, then rest that day. Rule 2 SLEEP A SHIT TON! I was thinking of making this one the first and most important rule but I did not because the one I put as first is the most important one, so never question anything I tell you, K? This is super fucking important so put your listening cap on....your body puts all shorts of shit into yourself that gets you jacked as fuck. Ever heard of HGH? Yeah? That the shit 90% of pro athletes take( the other 10% sit on the bench) to get strong and recover. Its illegal as shit. Your body makes that while your sleep. So sleep a lot. There is all shorts of science behind why sleep is the balls sack, but I am not going to quote it because its boring as shit. So just trust me when I tell you: SLEEP YOU BITCH ASS NIGGER. 8-10 hours. If you can...shit sleep 12 nigger. See how little Americans sleep? Yeah they are all fat asses. Rule 3 EAT A HELLA OF A LOT YOU GAY ASS WHOLE! You are trying to put on 10 pounds yeah? Do you know (you fucking ass hole) how many Calories are in a pound of fat, ah? 3,000. That right. So you have to eat 3,000 calories to gain one pound of muscle is even harder to make so imagine how many calories you have to eat... like 100,000 or more. Now don't eat shitty ass food, accept on thos cheat day tho eat all that shit nigga (which should be ones a week), but for the other days this is what your day should look like: Breakfast 6 whole eggs (dont be a bitch) 6-10oz of nuts 6 pieces of bacon And some cheese on your whole eggs Snack protein shake or bar or five Tablespoons of skippy peanut butter Lunch Salad (big ass amount man..dont be a bitch) Chicken or steak (a lot) some fruit Rice Snack Protein shake Dinner meat veggies fruit Bread Before you go to bed have some peanut butter and get up in the middle of the night and eat something too (like a protein shake or some cookies) Rule 4 LIFT SOME HEAVY ASS WEIGHT AND A SHIT TON OF LIGHTER WEIGHT! Right now your prob asking yourself, “hay, didn't chris say there was only 3 rules...???” Well you guessed wrong bitch! I do what I want. This is the final Rule. If YOU want to get big you have to lift heavy AND lift a lot of lighter weights, Bitch."(Detmering 2005)

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