the blog manifesto.

the purpose of sme is simply this: to overthrow the capitalist hegemony that has a stranglehold on our beautiful, multiethnic society. contributors are asked to take part in this, our overriding mission, so the people of the green earth can breathe together in the clean air of progressive politics and non-judgmentalism. each blog post must bask in the sunlight of earnest expression, never falling into the trap of satire or parody. our aim is clarity and verisimilitude; our mission is truth and the propagation of it. the blog is the perfect place to post your old family videos, homophobic video blogs, another blog's material, awkward, poorly-drawn sketches, halo reach updates, or unexplained/irrelevant wikipedia articles--sme is home to the entire eclectic conflation that is the internet. if there is one thing entirely intolerable to the editors of sme, it is sarcasm. there is simply no room in this blog for sarcastic, humorous, and reference driven posts. if you are among those responsible for such garbage, please leave.

sincerely,

barnaby jones

Monday, July 5, 2010

Zombies are in my pool.

Synopsis
In this ruthless game of terror, blood lust, and strength, the alpha zombie reeks havoc on the humans; converting them to rabid, blood-thirsty living dead by ravaging their flesh with his zombie fangs thus building an army of zombie warriors.

RULES and REGULATIONS

Alpha Zombie:
Must be hand selected out of the "village" of humans by a third party at the beginning of the game.
- Once selected the third party host will sound the call of his or her make and the hunt will begin.
Objective: To "infect" as many humans as possible by completely and totally submerging the humans head under the water.

Humans:
1) Anyone NOT
selected to be the Alpha Zombie by a third party at the beginning of the game.
2) Anyone who has not been "dunked" by the Alpha Zombie or his minions during the course of the game.
- Once a humans head has been completely and totally submerged by the Alpha Zombie and/or his minions he or she is now a zombie minion and should promptly begin ravaging humans.
Objective: To avoid being "dunked" by any zombie for the duration of the game either by fending off the Zombie scum or cowering like a little girl.

Zombie minion: A human that has been dunked by the Alpha Zombie or any other zombie minion.

- Once the call has been sounded by the host indicating the start of the game, any force (within reason) can be used to ward off zombies and to dunk humans.
- There will be no holding on to the side of the pool. So weak.

A WIN: A win can only be declared by two things: all humans have been dunked and turned into Zombie minions or the Alpha zombie and his minions have forfeited their hold on the village and retreated from the game.

*When carried out properly this game should amount to pure carnage and destruction from start to finish.

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