the blog manifesto.

the purpose of sme is simply this: to overthrow the capitalist hegemony that has a stranglehold on our beautiful, multiethnic society. contributors are asked to take part in this, our overriding mission, so the people of the green earth can breathe together in the clean air of progressive politics and non-judgmentalism. each blog post must bask in the sunlight of earnest expression, never falling into the trap of satire or parody. our aim is clarity and verisimilitude; our mission is truth and the propagation of it. the blog is the perfect place to post your old family videos, homophobic video blogs, another blog's material, awkward, poorly-drawn sketches, halo reach updates, or unexplained/irrelevant wikipedia articles--sme is home to the entire eclectic conflation that is the internet. if there is one thing entirely intolerable to the editors of sme, it is sarcasm. there is simply no room in this blog for sarcastic, humorous, and reference driven posts. if you are among those responsible for such garbage, please leave.


barnaby jones

Friday, February 5, 2010

Breaking News: Science Machine Discovers Truth!

Over the break, the tireless work of unending scientists and modern technologies

has discovered massive new breakthroughs in the most recent feats of marvelous design. Alex, Chris, and Mikey worked hand and hand with these brilliant patriots of the new science realms of the burgeoning field of inner-animal detection mechanisms. Their new machine, the inner-animal detectatron,

can use any photo of an individual and accurately determine that individuals inner-heart animal: the creature which most embodies their personality. Do not doubt the truth of the science machine! These results are 100% accurate.

Jon Ryan is a disgruntled retard turtle.

Cale Hoskins is a googly-eyed goldfish.

Taylor James is Snorlax.

Matt McCarty is a flamingo with flowing brown locks of luscious, bouncy hair.

Seth Hoskins is the disturbed manticore.

David Matthias is a dwarf horse with bad hair.

Mikey Detmering is Super Saiyan 5 Goku animal.

Chris Detmering is the Balrog, Lord of Shadow and Flame.

Alex Detmering is Optimus Prime, friend to all the weak humans; they are a primitive race.

Yup, 100% accurate.

Alex, Mikey, and Chris

No comments:

Post a Comment