The Ten Tribes of Jezebel, Chapters 2 & 3

Chapter 2

Verily verily, rare has the time been unto man

when the children of men have been beset on

all sides by additional children of other men;

men who are, doubtless, likewise the children

of other men. Yay verily, children come from

men even as men come from children, and the

line of children from men is known unto

men as a very long line indeed.

The child that was brought forth unto man with

legs of brown-gold tresses, with legs motionless

with terminal stiffness, was begat of Slabmorath,

who was also begat of Bithrontromble, who

was, believe it or not, also begat. He was begat

of Gethrotemple, who begat nine other children

who likewise pleased the eyes and nose and

ears and hundred wings covered in rotating eyes

of the lord of mountain. His children and his

children's children begat children, and their

children's children begat yet more children, at

this point their children's children, in an entirely

unexpected turn of events, begat yet even more

children, until the number of children's children

exceeded even the ants of the sky and the birds

of the field. This number is great indeed,

taking into account that the children of ants also

have children, and their children yet have more

children, and so on and so on forever and amen,

selah. It's perhaps almost impossible to fathom

how many children children's children begat,

but verily do I say unto you, the sun hast not

cast its wary gleam on the end of the line of

these children, so tremendous was the sheer

number of children being begat on almost

a minute by minute basis in these days of men.

Chapter 3

In these days of men many committed themselves

unto false idols and vast was the number of these

false gods and the worship thereof. Men numbering

higher numbers than all the milk in the Gardens of

Babylon could be seen from thousands of falcon

strides away laying prostrate in front of literally

millions of sculptures of entirely made up gods.

It might seem highly unlikely that in stone age

Mesopotamia tribes were able to give

so much time to the creation of seemingly

endless numbers of false god statues, but so

great was their unholy thirst for unrighteousness

that it allowed them to trespass against not only

the laws of the lord of the harvest, but also

physical impossibilities, selah.

The child saw what men had done under the sun

and he wept with long suffering and sackcloth

he shaved his baby head and spread ash upon his knees

he shaved his infant forearms and wore sackcloth on his knees

he shaved his child knees and spread sackcloth on his ass

and great was the grieving and sackclothing, selah.

(the bearded but otherwise shaven babe with the waxen staff of ass-beating in hand)

Harken! From the mouth of the shaven babe,

came wisdom and long suffering:

"my eyes have become weary with the sin of my generation

my tongue cries out for deliverance

from their infinite wrong-God worshiping

my morbidly straight extremities beat in the dust

the song of judgement

A song of hills that would bring

the waxen staff of ass-beating to these idolaters"

And lo! The sons of the Kings of Babylon

Gathered together in great wickedness

and many fold weariness, and, with intensely labored breath,

they spoke before their people against the speaking that

the anointed babe had spoken to whoever the hell

listens to random prophetic baby shouting:
"Great indeed was the weariness in these days.

Behold, great is the weariness which lays upon us,

the weariness that laid upon our fathers,

the Kings of Babylon, now weighs on us.

But this weariness, that lays upon us now,

is an even greater weariness than that

which laid upon our Fathers, the Kings of Babylon.

Even though their weariness was mighty,

like a strong warrior of Babylon ready to go out

to meet the armies of the enemy, even still,

this current weariness is greater, like a mighty man

of Babylon who says to his spirit 'Be strong!

Fear not the armies of the enemy,

for your sword is your ally and your ally

lies in darkness to betray you.' Such is

the weariness that lays upon us now.

But this enemy that gathers before us now,

this brood of unkept viper piss,

this idle-tongued slack jaw,

this lumber-stiff jack and ape

this fat-staffed lamprey

this stiff-nippled shart stuffer

we will weed out him and his progeny

with bright flame, strong spear, and a

multitude of incorrect-deity respecting!”

And the people were filled with a great fear,

hiding in their encampments and shoating

with a great shout: “we are afraid, soon

the great weary sons of babylon will descend

upon us, and lay ruin upon our generation!”

(the babe, reproaching)

And the babe reproached them their weakness:

"Do not speak to me with the foul tongue of men,

and cease your malcontent bitching, wormtongues!

Remove thyself from the dense bed of ensnarement

and stand mighty and stiff-limbed alongside me,

or so help me harvest-god, I will ass-beat

some wisdom and supplication out of you and your

children, and your children’s children, forever and amen,

selah