the blog manifesto.

the purpose of sme is simply this: to overthrow the capitalist hegemony that has a stranglehold on our beautiful, multiethnic society. contributors are asked to take part in this, our overriding mission, so the people of the green earth can breathe together in the clean air of progressive politics and non-judgmentalism. each blog post must bask in the sunlight of earnest expression, never falling into the trap of satire or parody. our aim is clarity and verisimilitude; our mission is truth and the propagation of it. the blog is the perfect place to post your old family videos, homophobic video blogs, another blog's material, awkward, poorly-drawn sketches, halo reach updates, or unexplained/irrelevant wikipedia articles--sme is home to the entire eclectic conflation that is the internet. if there is one thing entirely intolerable to the editors of sme, it is sarcasm. there is simply no room in this blog for sarcastic, humorous, and reference driven posts. if you are among those responsible for such garbage, please leave.

sincerely,

barnaby jones

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Cult Bulletin Board



THE ORDER OF THE EIGHTH SPHERE COMMUNITY BULLETIN BOARD
Telestial Apprentices: Please post all of your eighth sphere-related news and activities here!


Praise Zaashural!
--
July 18, 2013

ATTENTION: There will be no sacrificial gathering this week. The Holy One will spread news before the next elemental dowsing. Await with patience the revelation of the Bottomless Head.

Praise Zaashural.


--
July 23, 2013

EIGHTH SPHERE LADIES’ CLUB
Are you a female telestial apprentice willing to do anything to please Zaashural? Join your fellow sister-believers this Thursday for our first monthly Octal Unification ceremony! There will be banishings, blood worship and readings from the Book of Shadows. Come early for snacks!

Praise be to the Great Defiler!

--
July 31, 2013
Attention Apprentices:

THE PILLAR OF SEVERITY is upon us.

An attempt has been made to evoke The Great Voice without permission from the White Priest, The Ascended Master Nomikaax. The Sacred Blade demands retribution. The guilty one may step forward to proceed through the Hundred Blood Mists and the Ritual of Obscuration.

The cleansing is nigh.

Praise be to The Great Nomikaax, our Moon Father and Shepherd of the Astral Plane.

Also praise Zaashural.


--
August 8, 2013

LOYALTY TEST

All apprentices will be required to prove their unwavering loyalty to Zaashural and the Veil of Unknowing, lest the Red Lion blind us all with its unexpected and cruel psychic attacks.

The demonstration will require the invocation of the Three Planes of Negative Existence according to the prophecy of the White Star.

Please report to the catacombs no later than 4 pm. Childcare will not be provided.

Praise Garakzukum.

--


August 16, 2013

New Member Initiation

The Order of the Eighth Sphere is pleased to announce our new members, Sister Khamok and Brother Guzibzebin. They come to us through an astral mind link detected in the Moon Portal by the White Priest Zaashural, Lord of the Plane of Foul Tongues.

We will initiate our new members with a Desolate Mass of Inner Alchemy, and of course a non-refundable deposit of $20,000, cashier’s check or money order only.

Praise Nomikaax.

--
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