the blog manifesto.

the purpose of sme is simply this: to overthrow the capitalist hegemony that has a stranglehold on our beautiful, multiethnic society. contributors are asked to take part in this, our overriding mission, so the people of the green earth can breathe together in the clean air of progressive politics and non-judgmentalism. each blog post must bask in the sunlight of earnest expression, never falling into the trap of satire or parody. our aim is clarity and verisimilitude; our mission is truth and the propagation of it. the blog is the perfect place to post your old family videos, homophobic video blogs, another blog's material, awkward, poorly-drawn sketches, halo reach updates, or unexplained/irrelevant wikipedia articles--sme is home to the entire eclectic conflation that is the internet. if there is one thing entirely intolerable to the editors of sme, it is sarcasm. there is simply no room in this blog for sarcastic, humorous, and reference driven posts. if you are among those responsible for such garbage, please leave.

sincerely,

barnaby jones

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Letters From Home Vol. I: Daybreak Will Arise

Below is a letter written to Tanner Smith during his service to our country in the blazing hot, inhospitable, godforsaken wasteland known as Kandahar, Afghanistan.


"I've got another confession to make...

That song is horrible. for real.

The confession though is that Zach, Matt, Audrey and I made this care package a super long time ago and I've been procrastinating on sending it for like 2 months now.
Now I'm writing this on Tuesday, October 13th determined to get this onitsuka tiger shoebox safely to your living quarters in Afghanistan relatively soon. Or at least before you leave to come back to my loving embrace. How softly will we embrace on that fateful day. I count the ways it will be so soft. I can not reach an end to the counting.

Let us retire, you and I, and waste the days with amorous whisperings in our love bed. Hahaha.. You always were so silly.
Daybreak will arise in the sea the waves in the aerth, corresponding crest by crest with the pangs of my desire for your steely action chest.
We will watch the Gilmore Girls episodes we always loved and think about that one time... (who knew it could happen with pants on? hahahahaha!!! I totally knew.)
Only when you get old and your face totally starts to look like a giant ballsack - you know, not like a normal white dude's balls but like... Michael Clark Duncan balls - Will I look back and question, "Was it worth it?", and also, "Why does your face look like a black dude's balls?" Normal people's faces don't look like balls Tanner.

-Jon
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