"There have been many rumors about the legitimacy of a relationship between Mr. Roth and Ms. Lady Gaga. I am appearing today to make the official announcement that the rumors are true. Asher Roth and Lady Gaga are currently in a very serious relationship for both professional and personal reasons. They are actually, this moment, working on making a baby inside of Ms. Gaga."
(Respective pictures of each invividual part of the pair)
Much speculation has been made about this seemingly peculiar relationship. Perhaps the most common questions being asked are: how are the couple prospering both personally and professionally from their relationship, and why would they want a baby so soon? Ryan Schreiber, creator of the website that is better than you "Pitchfork Media", has proposed a theory that many think to be the correct answer to their questions. Schreiber has formulated that Asher Roth and Lady Gaga, seeing a great deal of musical potential in each other, are under the impression that if they were to bear child, the child to escape from Gaga's womb, brought by the seed of Roth would be the sole greatest musician to ever walk the face of the planet. Schreiber suggests that Asher probably believes the baby will inherit his nonchalant swagger and smooth flow. Lady Gaga is said to believe that the baby will inherit her innate fashion sense, maddening piano prowess, and soulful demeanor. We believe that if all this speculation becomes fact, that Rotgaga (the baby's rumored name) will take the music scene by storm and take no prisoners. We even suggest that if the love-child reaches its full potential it could be reasonable to expect a future where there was no need for more than one musical artist in the whole world, and of course that artist would be baby Rotgaga.
(amateur sketch of what baby Rotgaga should look like at age 13)p.s. None of this is true. This statement was made for purposes of clarification.
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