the blog manifesto.
the purpose of sme is simply this: to overthrow the capitalist hegemony that has a stranglehold on our beautiful, multiethnic society. contributors are asked to take part in this, our overriding mission, so the people of the green earth can breathe together in the clean air of progressive politics and non-judgmentalism. each blog post must bask in the sunlight of earnest expression, never falling into the trap of satire or parody. our aim is clarity and verisimilitude; our mission is truth and the propagation of it. the blog is the perfect place to post your old family videos, homophobic video blogs, another blog's material, awkward, poorly-drawn sketches, halo reach updates, or unexplained/irrelevant wikipedia articles--sme is home to the entire eclectic conflation that is the internet. if there is one thing entirely intolerable to the editors of sme, it is sarcasm. there is simply no room in this blog for sarcastic, humorous, and reference driven posts. if you are among those responsible for such garbage, please leave.
sincerely,
barnaby jones
sincerely,
barnaby jones
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
"The Mr. Cheung Emails"
I am Mr. Marvin K.T Cheung from hang seng Bank hong kong, there is the sum of $30,000,000.00 in my bank and i need you to work together with me to claim it, and we shall then share in the ratio of 60% for me, 40% for you. Please contact me for more details e-mail: (marvin_kt_cheung95@yahoo.com.hk).
Sincerely,
Marvin K.T Cheung.
________________________________________________________
Sounds like a plan. What should I do?
-Seth Hoskins Ph.D., JD., BS
________________________________________________________
Good Day,
Let me start by introducing myself again. I am Mr. Marvin K.T Cheung Executive Director and Chief Financial Officer of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd.
Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client Col. Hosam Hassan who was with the Iraqi forces and also business man made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of Thirty million United State Dollars ($30,000,000.00) only in my branch. Upon maturity several notices was sent to him, even during the war early this year. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later find out that Col. Hosam Hassan along with his wife and only daughter had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home. What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration 4 years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds.
Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Col. Hosam Hassan so that you will be able to receive his funds. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall share in the ratio of 60% for me,40% for you.'
Should you be interested please send the information’s below,
1. Full names and Age.
2. Private phone number.
3. Current residential address.
And finally after that I shall provide you with more details on this transaction. I sincerely appreciate your interest, to assist me however I would like to be sure of your willingness, trustworthiness and commitment to execute this transaction with me, I cannot afford to compromise these virtues.
Considering the money involved, it is necessary for me to be sure of the person to whom I will be entrusting this transaction; my trust is not given out lightly, I need to be convinced that you are a matured person with some integrity. Furthermore, if we follow up this transaction diligently it would be completed within 8 working days.
What I expect from you is trust and commitment; I want this large sum of money transferred with your assistance.
I want to know if you are willing to follow up this business seriously before I can give you more details about this transaction, I shall be waiting for your response and assurance.
Sincerely,
Mr. Marvin Cheung.
__________________________________________________________
My name: Tom Cruise
Phone number: 53489876767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676676767676767676
my extension is then:
9271961230734123481340816234712928374#Axis bootY;NCRCodeX;Grenade<-0x005a9360x564454f4#Allies BootY;NCR CodeX;Grenade<-0x005a9368 0x55f0f69e
Also for this extension number to work, you have to die.
My address is pending, its in transit as I type this, oh my, here it iz.
--end message--
Sincerely,
Marvin K.T Cheung.
________________________________________________________
Sounds like a plan. What should I do?
-Seth Hoskins Ph.D., JD., BS
________________________________________________________
Good Day,
Let me start by introducing myself again. I am Mr. Marvin K.T Cheung Executive Director and Chief Financial Officer of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd.
Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client Col. Hosam Hassan who was with the Iraqi forces and also business man made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of Thirty million United State Dollars ($30,000,000.00) only in my branch. Upon maturity several notices was sent to him, even during the war early this year. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later find out that Col. Hosam Hassan along with his wife and only daughter had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home. What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration 4 years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds.
Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Col. Hosam Hassan so that you will be able to receive his funds. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall share in the ratio of 60% for me,40% for you.'
Should you be interested please send the information’s below,
1. Full names and Age.
2. Private phone number.
3. Current residential address.
And finally after that I shall provide you with more details on this transaction. I sincerely appreciate your interest, to assist me however I would like to be sure of your willingness, trustworthiness and commitment to execute this transaction with me, I cannot afford to compromise these virtues.
Considering the money involved, it is necessary for me to be sure of the person to whom I will be entrusting this transaction; my trust is not given out lightly, I need to be convinced that you are a matured person with some integrity. Furthermore, if we follow up this transaction diligently it would be completed within 8 working days.
What I expect from you is trust and commitment; I want this large sum of money transferred with your assistance.
I want to know if you are willing to follow up this business seriously before I can give you more details about this transaction, I shall be waiting for your response and assurance.
Sincerely,
Mr. Marvin Cheung.
__________________________________________________________
My name: Tom Cruise
Phone number: 53489876767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676676767676767676
my extension is then:
9271961230734123481340816234712928374#Axis bootY;NCRCodeX;Grenade<-0x005a9360x564454f4#Allies BootY;NCR CodeX;Grenade<-0x005a9368 0x55f0f69e
Also for this extension number to work, you have to die.
My address is pending, its in transit as I type this, oh my, here it iz.
--end message--
Monday, October 19, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Old Time Funny Conversation with Alex and an Angry, Angry Indie Lady
Matt asked me to post this one. Back during the election I started this group satirizing Joe Biden. Apparently, some people like Joe Biden. Claire posts on the groups wall, furious because we've been spamming Biden's page. This is the conversation that took place after that comment:
Alex Detmering
September 4 at 1:14pm
Claire, I'm not an ignorant hick. I can't stand McCain either. So if he loses, I couldn't care less. The election system is a joke, so I'm having fun with it. you should try having fun sometime.
alex
Claire S Caplan
September 4 at 7:12pm
personally i think the way the entire country is run is a total joke, but i am a collective anarchist.
sorry if i offended you, but you know just as well as i do that there are a ton of ignorant people in there who are only supporting mccain because mommy and daddy said so.
honestly i think joe biden is the most competent candidate out there right now, so the group just set me off.
also, sadly, i dont have a lot of fun. i spend about 50% of my time working to fix the problems in this world, and that includes trips to west africa to work in an orphanage, its not usually very "fun".
Alex Detmering
September 4 at 7:27pm
well I have dedicated my life to the victims of fetal alcohol syndrome. It is a serious business 'cause sometimes you get all sticky. I don't you have ever been sticky, but it sucks, like way lot
thank you for your patronage
alex
Alex Detmering
September 4 at 1:14pm
Claire, I'm not an ignorant hick. I can't stand McCain either. So if he loses, I couldn't care less. The election system is a joke, so I'm having fun with it. you should try having fun sometime.
alex
Claire S Caplan
September 4 at 7:12pm
personally i think the way the entire country is run is a total joke, but i am a collective anarchist.
sorry if i offended you, but you know just as well as i do that there are a ton of ignorant people in there who are only supporting mccain because mommy and daddy said so.
honestly i think joe biden is the most competent candidate out there right now, so the group just set me off.
also, sadly, i dont have a lot of fun. i spend about 50% of my time working to fix the problems in this world, and that includes trips to west africa to work in an orphanage, its not usually very "fun".
Alex Detmering
September 4 at 7:27pm
well I have dedicated my life to the victims of fetal alcohol syndrome. It is a serious business 'cause sometimes you get all sticky. I don't you have ever been sticky, but it sucks, like way lot
thank you for your patronage
alex
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The Most Confusing Conversation, I Daresay, Ever
I never deny friend requests. And this is what happens:
Alex
hey, do I know you?
Demi
heiii
hemmm................
Alex
I got a friend request awhile ago from you, and I was just wondering, have we met?
Demi
yupp
:):)
Alex
haha
where?
Demi
hahaha :D:D
From Indonesia
nice 2 meet u ok's
Alex
hold on, we met in Indonesia?
you're blowing my mind right now
Demi
heemm yeah..........
Alex
do you live in the US?
Demi
ouww...
US?
Wowww power countr :D:D
Wowww power countrT :D:D
Alex
do you live in America?
Demi
wooww very nice if me can stay end ;ife in U.S.A
Haahaha
wooww very nice if me can stay end life in U.S.A
hahaha
Alex
hahaha
Demi
;);)
Alex
I have no idea what is going on right now
Demi
hehehe
about u?
u study?
Alex
yeah, I study English literature
it's pretty much a read stories then write about stories degree
Demi
wEOOWW
Alex
are you in college?
haha
Demi
yeah..
i colleg in University in Untirta Indonesia of Law
Alex
that's awesome
so you're going to be a lawyer
Demi
hemmmm
i don;t know maybe that's..
hehe
Alex
what do you want to do, career wise?
like, what profession?
Demi
maybe i have in womeen carierr :D:D
Alex
sounds like a plan.
Alex
in america, it's really late now
I have to sleep
I'll talk to you later, cool?
Demi
hehehe yeah
:):)
;);)
I Think u smart men hehee
ok see u
later boy
;);)
Alex
later
Demi
Ups wrong that?
hehehe
Alex
no, haha, cya
Demi
haha
ok see a ;);)
Alex
hey, do I know you?
Demi
heiii
hemmm................
Alex
I got a friend request awhile ago from you, and I was just wondering, have we met?
Demi
yupp
:):)
Alex
haha
where?
Demi
hahaha :D:D
From Indonesia
nice 2 meet u ok's
Alex
hold on, we met in Indonesia?
you're blowing my mind right now
Demi
heemm yeah..........
Alex
do you live in the US?
Demi
ouww...
US?
Wowww power countr :D:D
Wowww power countrT :D:D
Alex
do you live in America?
Demi
wooww very nice if me can stay end ;ife in U.S.A
Haahaha
wooww very nice if me can stay end life in U.S.A
hahaha
Alex
hahaha
Demi
;);)
Alex
I have no idea what is going on right now
Demi
hehehe
about u?
u study?
Alex
yeah, I study English literature
it's pretty much a read stories then write about stories degree
Demi
wEOOWW
Alex
are you in college?
haha
Demi
yeah..
i colleg in University in Untirta Indonesia of Law
Alex
that's awesome
so you're going to be a lawyer
Demi
hemmmm
i don;t know maybe that's..
hehe
Alex
what do you want to do, career wise?
like, what profession?
Demi
maybe i have in womeen carierr :D:D
Alex
sounds like a plan.
Alex
in america, it's really late now
I have to sleep
I'll talk to you later, cool?
Demi
hehehe yeah
:):)
;);)
I Think u smart men hehee
ok see u
later boy
;);)
Alex
later
Demi
Ups wrong that?
hehehe
Alex
no, haha, cya
Demi
haha
ok see a ;);)
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Aren't We All?
Alisa
haha, well its me you are talking to, not anyone:D
19:29Mikey
alisa arent we all truely just part of the commonwealth that defines are particular unique traits in which make up the cliches that we all try so desperately to avoid by being interesting or different?
or has my mind just transcened the absolutes of a transfixed illusion in this imaginary semiutopian universe
well?
choose the ball and u join your mother
choose the sword and u join me
u dont understand my words but still u must choose
19:33 Alisa
ok, i should have expected an insanely absurd answer considering you tend to often take those kind of approaches during our conversations
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Seth, the Dark Christian.
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